Christmas StressBusters

by Susan Stern

Stressor: Being a perfectionist
StressBuster: Lower your standards

Set realistic goals for yourself. Prioritize your TO DO list. Don't sweat the small stuff. Your guest aren't coming to check for dust bunnies under your bed! And if they are, don't invite them back next year! Don't measure your efforts against some imaginary idea of perfection. Relax and enjoy yourself.

Stressor: Following out-dated traditions
StressBuster: If it's no longer appropriate, don't do it

There's an old Hungarian story about a young bride who buys a brisket of beef and cuts off a small piece from the end. When her husband ask why she is doing that she says: "my mother always does it that way." They ask the mother why and she says: "my mother always does it that way." They ask the grandmother who tells them that she cut off the end because her pot was too small. Ask yourself why you are doing something. If it has outlived its reason or usefulness, drop it.

Stressor: Taking on too much
StressBuster: Do less

If your budget allows, hire help. Don't do everything from scratch. It's OK to use time-saving devices. Ask other people for help. Maybe someone else can bring some dishes, do some shopping, set the table or do the clean-up.

Stressor: Gift buying
StressBuster: Instead of gifts that might be returned or never used, you might:

• donate money to the person's favourite charity
• give a gift certificate to their favourite store
• give a "gift certificate" that's redeemable for baby-sitting, house-sitting, pet-sitting, Etc
• if the person is a care-giver, offer to relieve them for a morning or an afternoon
• be creative, find out what would be the most meaningful gift for the person
• offer to address their Christmas mailing list
• buy a copy of Susan's book, "AWAKENING YOUR LIFE SKILLS - A light-hearted, pragmatic and humorous approach to a less stressful life."

Stressor: Unreasonable expectations of family members
StressBuster: Be realistic in your expectations

There's no reason to believe that family members who don't get along the rest of the year become bosom buddies on December 25th. Consider having two meals and invite the folks who get along. On the other hand, remind your family that Christmas not the time to drop emotional bombs. This is not the time to announce that she is getting a divorce or that he lost his job.

Stressor: Overeating
StressBusters: Have a plan

• decide before-hand how much you will eat and stick to your decision
• have a small taste of everything so you don't feel deprived after all, it's Christmas!
• have a small slice of dessert
• fill up on non-fattening foods - water, salads, vegetables
• go easy on the sauces
• substitute less fattening dressings
• keep busy with non-eating activities: set the table, serve the food, clear the table, do the dishes

And here some more suggestions for a less stressful holiday time:

1/ Take time for yourself

• pamper yourself
• meditate
• get a massage
• go for a walk
• read a trashy novel
• rent a funny movie
• spend a night in a hotel

2/ Do not try a new recipe

• this is not the time to be Julia Child!

3/ Recognize what's within your power and what isn't.

Keep in mind what you "can" and "cannot" do - you can lose weight but you cannot make your spouse lose weight.

If you are so inclined, recite the "Serenity Prayer"

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change
The COURAGE to change the things I can
The WISDOM to know the difference.

Have a happy and stress-free holiday!

Susan Stern is a popular motivational speaker and is the author of "AWAKENING YOUR LIFE SKILLS - A light-hearted, pragmatic and humorous approach to a less stressful life".